Doug Dyck is a resident of New Bothwell and the owner of Heritage Lane Builders, based out of Niverville. He’s a husband, father, grandfather, and man of faith.
Admittedly, Dyck says he’s been a pretty lucky guy, enjoying the companionship of close male friends all his life. But it wasn’t until his stepson invited him along on the journey of a lifetime that Dyck was able to forge one of the most precious male bonds of all.
For Dyck, it was a mountaintop experience, in more ways than one.
His stepson Roland had enjoyed the adventure of a 72-hour hiking trek through the Rocky Mountains. He invited Dyck to join him for the next trek, set to take place in June 2024.
The hike is known as the Extreme Character Challenge (XCC), an annual event hosted by a Christian organization known as 4M.
The 4M website describes the XCC as “an epic adventure where men experience great physical challenge, mental exhaustion and wild inspiration—all for a greater cause. A movement where men’s hearts are awakened.”
Dyck says it was with great trepidation that he agreed. He was pushing 62 and not an avid hiker. But he was excited to build a deeper bond with the son of his second wife, Suzanne.
Three months in advance, as the website recommended, Dyck began to train with Suzanne at his side. They took a course on adventure hiking and began a daily walking and running routine, slowly adding a backpack and a load to condition his body for the real thing.
In June, Dyck and his stepson flew to Alberta, where they were joined by about 170 other men all there for the same purpose.
The men were organized into groups of ten. Each was to travel on foot as a team, moving only as fast as the slowest member. At the beginning of each day, each team mustered with the larger group.
Dyck’s pack weighed 40 pounds and contained all the food, clothing, and sleeping gear he’d need for the next 72 hours. They left behind their cell phones, watches, and electronics in order to completely unplug.
Time didn’t matter here. They’d rise with the sun and eat when they were hungry.
Dyck admits that one of the first challenges was letting go of his pride. He was, after all, putting his well-being into the hands of hike guides who were complete strangers.
“It’s not that I don’t trust,” muses Dyck. “I’m just used to being in charge.”
As well, Dyck was one of the oldest men in his group. The youngest was in his early twenties. Dyck didn’t want his age to become a hindrance.
“That’s one thing about men. They don’t want to slow anyone down. They don’t want to be the weakest link.”
On average, the group spent 14 hours per day hiking over difficult mountain terrain. They were rewarded with breathtaking vistas no camera was there to capture.
But it didn’t take long for exhaustion to kick in and emotions to run high.
“When men are pushed physically, they tap into their emotions a little bit better because they get exhausted and their character comes out,” Dyck says. “I had my moments when I was very angry. I didn’t want to be there on that mountain.”
Halfway through the third day, Dyck had pushed himself hard. Still before him lay a steep incline leading to the team’s halfway muster point.
Dyck watched as a man ahead of him began descending back in his direction. He looked to be about Dyck’s age and, as he approached, he spoke to Dyck in a strong European accent. He asked to carry Dyck’s pack during this final ascent.
“I dropped that pack so fast,” says Dyck. “He picks it up and says, ‘What do you have in here, rocks?’ And then I just started weeping because I had been struggling, and he’d come down to help.”
Many times throughout the four day adventure, Dyck also had to lean on his stepson’s strong outstretched arm when his energy level waned.
As the miles progressed, Dyck witnessed the awakening of hearts, as the organization had predicted. Some of the most heartfelt sharing took place during checkpoint rests and while hiking in pairs.
“The story of my life’s struggles is nothing compared to what I got to hear,” he says. “Stories of addiction, affairs, devastating family issues, being raised in abusive families, and having been abusive themselves because of the pattern.”
One of the moist poignant, Dyck says, came from a gentleman who openly described his battles with cancer. Before heading out on this journey, he’d discovered that the cancer had returned.
This man had been on 22 hiking adventures prior to this one and acknowledged that this could well be his last. He was at peace with that, thanks to the strength he’d gained.
For Dyck, these highs and lows represent only a small part of his four-day experience. He chooses to withhold all his stories, so as not to set expectations for other men who may choose to someday go to the mountains to find themselves.
As for bonding with his stepson, Dyck says it was everything he’d hoped for.
“I was hoping we’d have that bonding experience, but you don’t fabricate or manufacture that,” says Dyck. “It has to be organic. You’re unable to lean on anything but each other. So that, for me, was one of the highlights, because we take that with us forever. Our moments were ours together.”
Despite the fact that the trek was a powerful and life-altering experience, Dyck says he likely won’t do it a second time. He does, however, recommend that every male try it once.
Nine months later, Dyck is a changed man. One of the differences in his life is that he’s much more willing to say yes to new experiences.
As for his belief in the power of male bonding, Dyck says he’s long been a proponent. The caring support of male friends helped him through the challenges of a separation and divorce earlier in his life.
“For men, it’s good to have that person with whom you can go fishing. You can talk about the fish, but you can also talk about the monster in the water… Men need to learn to ask the right questions to create an environment that make men feel safe with each other. Men are taught, for the most part, to suck it up, be strong, and take it on the chin. So you just carry those things, and you carry them alone. You don’t stop to think that other men might be carrying them too.”
