Most of us would readily agree that comparing ourselves to others is a damaging practice, yet we do it all the same. Sneaking a peek over the back fence to see what particular shade of green the neighbour’s grass is has become a way to measure how we feel about ourselves.
Whether we’re comparing lifestyles, physical features, Facebook pictures, tweets, paycheques, or parenting skills, we have to admit that falling into this trap has never produced a positive outcome. These externals are never a good measure of our true value.
We tend to compare the worst of ourselves with our best assumptions about others. When we allow this distorted reflection to define our lives, we’re left with feelings of jealousy, regret, and disappointment. Living under the unhealthy expectations of family, friends, church members, or coworkers can open a door to physical and mental illness. Whenever we strive to keep up with the Joneses, we lose our unique sense of self.
Understanding that happiness and contentment depend upon the quality of our personal thoughts and actions can be the first step toward taking back our lives. Too many people go through life without intentionality or thought, rarely finding a quiet moment to sit in meditation and reflection. When we compare, we tend to react to the people and events around us instead of responding in love and acceptance.
Our individuality is a precious gift! We are unique in looks, likes, dreams, and desires. The goal then is to know who we are and to be good to ourselves. Learning to love ourselves ensures we can love others. Only when we lovingly accept ourselves can we honour and celebrate the differences in others instead of allowing their lives to become the measuring sticks of our own. When we honour ourselves and take responsibility for our choices, the comparison game becomes less attractive.
William Shakespeare so eloquently wrote, “To thine own self be true.” Focusing on the many blessings growing in our own backyards will give us the confidence to do exactly that.
